DEIVATHIN KURAL # 65 (Vol # 3) Dated 11 Mar 2009

DEIVATHIN KURAL # 65 (Vol # 3) Dated 11 Mar 2009
(These e-mails are translations of talks given by Periyaval of Kanchi Kamakoti Peetam, over a period of some 60 years while he was the pontiff in the earlier part of last century. These have been published by Vanadi Padippagam, Chennai, in seven volumes of a thousand pages each as Deivathin Kural. To day we are proceeding from the second para on page 285 of Vol 3 of the Tamil original. The readers are reminded that herein 'man/he' includes 'woman/she' too, mostly. These e-mails are all available at* http://advaitham. blogspot. com constantly updated.)
43. Even if a person is not able to convince his parents about having to do Paropakaaram, he should avoid any ill feelings and bitter confrontation. As per Saastra-s all Dharma is secondary to obeying parents wishes. Even if they wrongly advice you, You are not to disobey them. You may pray to God asking for the parents' correct understanding. But you are not to defy your parents.
44. In the case of wife and children, the context is different. More than our duties towards them, they are bounden to abide with your wishes and direction. If they come in the way of your social service duties, you may not listen to them. We must do what we can for the society's well being and could make use of ones wife and children in doing so! Whatever the case, do not go to extremes. Social service is not to be undertaken totally ignoring the requirements of your wife and children.
45. There is an important point here psychologically. When a person ignores his duties at home and goes for social service, the dis-affection he earns, has a negative influence all around! Instead, if he involves himself in social service while still taking care of his duties at home, that creates an atmosphere of all round co-operation. The net result is that others are also motivated to join the process.
46. Let me tell you a trick for social service. That trick is pleasent behaviour uniformly towards all. Not only with others in the society and other co-workers in social service but also with people at home. Such behaviour will win over their hearts and they are likely to think, “Poor chap at least he is doing something good for the society. Let us cooperate with him as much as possible!”
47. Even if someone was otherwise eminently eligible to take up Sanyasa, if he is the only son of his parents, no one will give him the Sanyasa Ashrama! Similarly, if he is a Gruhasta who has left his family in the lurch, he will not be given Sanyasa. Let this point be very clear. Sanyasa is not running away from responsibilities. It is not something of a cover for your failures. When you are not eligible for giving up the worldly responsibilities, how can you be entrusted with the task of helping the society?
48. I am sorry that I did not tell you about this in clear enough terms. Neither am I going to restart giving lectures. But I intend telling this to those who visit me. Even when I decide to comp-letely give up everything, further responsibilities keep coming to me. The trend now is to give undue publicity to things that I say and some things that I do not say also. Like that, let this opinion of mine that – leaving personal work and family responsibilities, you should not get into social service – also spread around.
49. This visit by the parents complaining about their sons over involvement in social service at the cost of ignoring his Nitya Karma Anushtana and responsibilities towards his family of his parents, is not a case in isolation. There have been such occassions before. People have written to me letters on similar lines. There was a Brahmin gentleman who was also a practicing advocate whom I pulled in to my own work completely, to find out as to which branch (shakha) of the Veda-s was prevalent in which part of the country. He had to put in a lot of efforts to collect the data! He had to search in the nook and corner of this vast country, in every small hamlet / pettai / puram and village! His wife and only daughter had to withstand much seperation and deprivation.
50. The mother and daughter used to visit me and take me to task! “Dad's practice is gone down the drain. His health has gone bad. I have forgotten as to how my father looks like, because when he comes home I may be in school or sleeping and by the time I am back from school or wake up from sleep, he may be out again on another trip! Why are you making him run from pillor to post like this?” Still I used to think that their problems are theirs; my work is important to me! They gave up troubling me resigned to their fate! Though on the one hand they had this complaint, on the other hand they had a lot of love and regards for me. They remained faithful with gratitude as they assume that my blessings are the reasons for many of their good fortune! What ever be one's behaviour, wife and children should remein faithful to him. On that logic, my action can be exhonerated. But when it comes to the logic that a Guru's position comes only after that of Mother and Father, I have no excuse whatsoever! (To be continued.) Sambhomahadeva.