Saturday, September 27, 2008

DEIVATHIN KURAL # 123 (of Vol 2) Dated 21 June 2008

DEIVATHIN KURAL # 123 (of Vol 2) Dated 21 June 2008

(To-day’s e-mail is a continuation of Deivathin Kural # 122 dated 19 June 2008. These are translations of talks given by Periyaval of Kanchi Kamakoti peetam, over a period of some sixty years while he was the pontiff in the earlier part of last century. These have been published in Tamil by Vanadi Padippagam, Chennai, in seven volumes of a thousand pages each, as Deivathin Kural. To day we are proceeding from middle of Page number 888, of volume 2, of the Tamil original. )

The Greatness of Motherhood.

77. Once our women lose their infatuation with Diamonds and Silk, our family life, social ethos and the quality of the very existance will take a quantum leap in the right direction! Silk is the thread taken out of millions of silk worms being killed for each squire yard of the cloth. Should we be decorating ourselves with so much sin? It is not enough to claim that we are vegetarian in our eating habits. It is enough if all the women refuse to be responsible for the sin of such mass murders! There is another aspect. The urge to wear silk saris and diamond jewels is instigated in other people’s minds too, who can ill afford such avoidable sinful luxury. Further sinful offence is to delay and deny a normal married life for women, because of their parent’s inability to meet the demand for so many silk saris and diamond jewelry!

78. It is irresponsibility of the highest order and detestable greed that has made the very noble Samskara of Vivaham in to an economic problem! Every one of us is born with brothers and sisters. We also have daughters. So the moment we find that we are the in the party of the bride-groom; to ask for dowry, utensils, diamonds, jewelry, silks, mobile and immobile assets; and put conditions like a Shylock; is an unpardonable crime! We are just not sensitive to the fact that we are causing hurt to women. It is necessary to check the character qualities of the Girl who is to come to our household as the daughter-in-law, if you can. She is to become the Light of your family, here onwards! We should have the spaciousness of mind and heart to be able to accept the girl in marriage, without thinking of money matters!

79. There is an important role that women have to play, in these things. Women should respect their lot. They should have the kindness and consideration for other women. They especially should have a generous heart and behave in a liberal manner, without hair-splitting and nit-pricking! They should not have the narrow mindedness to compare and contrast with other such marriages amongst near and far relatives! They should have the mind to be path breaking pioneers, in social renaissance. ‘Instead of copying other’s detestable behaviour and habits, let us be such that others may be motivated to follow our example’, should be their attitude.

80. ‘We gave dowry for our girl. When we were given in marriage too, our father gave dowry. So it is alright to now ask for dowry’, is not the sort of convenient logic to be temporarily invented. This bad habit must come to an end. This stupid habit is harmful for the entire society. For this there should be some one coming forward as ready to stake his all. For very flimsy reasons hundreds and thousands are ready to go on strike or block traffic and get arrested and go to jail! For a thing like a village, instead of coming under one district, goes under some other district and people are ready to give up their life, for or against it! Some people are ready to pour kerosene over themselves for such things and commit suicide. Can we not sacrifice these limited gains for the sake of welfare of the whole community?

81. Some girls come and tell me that she is chanting Soundarya Lahari and or Abhiraami Andaadi. Good! I feel happy. I will feel more thrilled, if you come and tell me that, to get Ambal’s blessings, we are conducting the marriage in our family, without Dowry, Silk Saris and Diamond jewelry. Without any conditions and business like contracts. You have to accept the idea in principle, to be able to practically do that in action! If you have an excuse that, we did not ask for anything, the girl’s side gave all this voluntarily, that is also wrong. In the society this is like a chain reaction. When someone does that for their own daughter, when it is their son’s turn, they will automatically expect. You should have a big heart to say no! Even if the family of the girl has money to spare, you should be able to tell them to give her a fixed deposit in a bank. Even that would be unnecessary.

82. Instead to ask for the expenditure that the boy’s party are likely to incur during the marriage, like the expenditure on clothes for the friends and relatives, the travel expenses to and fro etc., is totally unwarranted! It is our son who is getting married. Should we not be incurring those expenses? It is an insult to our very being! Whether we ask for dowry or they give voluntarily, it should be considered as looted property. One should be avoiding that as the plague! This is a vicious cycle corrupting the whole society, for which we should all endevour to give a decent burial or cremation!

Duty of the Bride-Groom.

83. The bride-groom has an important role to play. Normally sons should never have an independent opinion but, abide with his parent’s wishes. I should not be telling them to go against his parents wishes either! Especially now-a-days, when the sons are so rebellious already, I should not be advising them to revolt. But looking at the great injustice being caused to women folk in general, and the cancerous spread of this disease in the whole body of the society, I am compelled to advice the boys to rebel against the parents if need be on this one issue. They should be even prepared to do ‘satya aagraha’ or ‘non-cooperation’ movement that, the parents should neither ask for or accept any dowry whatsoever! They should be able to say, “I would rather remain a bachelor all my life than be a recipient of dowry!” No parent will still insist on dowry, when the son himself is so eminently sensible! This is the revolution that the youth of this country have to bring about. Instead of feeling proud of doing things against dictates of the Sastra-s, they should feel proud of contributing their bit when it mattered and that would be a great reformation of the society!

83. The Veda itself has placed me after the parents, in that order as, ‘mata pita guru deivam’. I am here with the title as the Guru. On this matter I grant you to go even against your parents, if need be. To ask for and give dowry is against the Sastra-s. This is the need of the day, in our society. Not only as a belief in our religion, but also the respect we should have on human value systems demands that, we rise above narrow greed! As an assurance for the future generations, the marriage which is a commitment forever, children should only do with the parent’s approval. But in doing so, they should not be party for the continued prevalence of dowry as a detestable evil of the society. This is the duty of the youth of to-day, to put down the evil of the dowry system. It is their duty to themselves, their family, religion, society and the nation!

84. The Arrangement by the Matam. Though we may not be able to conduct the marriage at the age exactly as per the Sastra-s, so that it may be done at least at the age approved by the Law of the Land on the subject, we have started a, ‘Kannikaa Dhaana Trust”. This trust has been started with the intention that, brahmin girls from poor families should not remain unmarried for reasons of lack of funds. The details may be obtained by communication to the trust care of, ‘Sri Kanchi Kaamakoti Sankara Matam, Kanchipuram, Tamil Nadu, India . By contributing your might to the trust, you will be doing a great service to the Dharma.

(To be continued)


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